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PinkMonkey.com Digital Library-The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde


77

at once.” “I have no doubt it was not an accident, Dorian, though it
must be put in that way to the public. It seems that as she was
leaving the theatre with her mother, about half-past twelve or so,
she said she had forgotten something upstairs. They waited some
time for her, but she did not come down again. They ultimately
found her lying dead on the floor of her dressing room. She had
swallowed something by mistake, some dreadful thing they use at
theatres. I don’t know what it was, but it had either prussic acid or
white lead in it. I should fancy it was prussic acid, as she seems to
have died instantaneously.” “Harry, Harry, it is terrible!” cried the
lad.

“Yes; it is very tragic, of course, but you must not get yourself
mixed up in it.

I see by The Standard that she was seventeen. I should have
thought she was almost younger than that. She looked such a child,
and seemed to know so little about acting. Dorian, you mustn’t let
this thing get on your nerves. You must come and dine with me,
and afterwards we will look in at the Opera. It is a Patti night, and
everybody will be there. You can come to my sister’s box. She has
got some smart women with her.” “So I have murdered Sibyl
Vane,” said Dorian Gray, half to himself, “murdered her as surely
as if I had cut her little throat with a knife. Yet the roses are not less
lovely for all that. The birds sing just as happily in my garden. And
tonight I am to dine with you, and then go on to the Opera, and
sup somewhere, I suppose, afterwards. How extraordinarily
dramatic life is! If I had read all this in a book, Harry, I think I
would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it has happened
actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears. Here is the
first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my life. Strange,
that my first passionate love-letter should have been addressed to a
dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent people we call
the dead? Sibyl! Can she feel, or know, or listen? Oh, Harry, how I
loved her once! It seems years ago to me now. She was everything
to me. Then came that dreadful night-was it really only last
night?when she played so badly, and my heart almost broke. She
explained it all to me.

It was terribly pathetic. But I was not moved a bit. I thought her
shallow. Suddenly something happened that made me afraid. I
can’t tell you what it was, but it was terrible. I said I would go back
to her. I felt I had done wrong. And now she is dead. My God! my
God! Harry, what shall I do? You don’t know the danger I am in,
and there is nothing to keep me straight. She would have done that
for me.

She had no right to kill herself. It was selfish of her.”
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