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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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394 no benefit, rather an aggravation of the constant torment I suffer--and it partly contributes to render me regardless how he and his cousin go on together. I can give them no attention, any more.” “But what do you mean by a change, Mr. Heathcliff?” I said, alarmed at his manner, though he was neither in danger of losing his senses, nor dying, according to my judgment, he was quite strong and healthy; and, as to his reason, from childhood he had a delight in dwelling on dark things, and entertaining odd fancies. He might have had a monomania on the subject of his departed idol; but on every other point his wits were as sound as mine. “I shall not know that till it comes,” he said; “I’m only half conscious of it now.” “You have no feeling of illness, have you?” I asked. “No, Nelly, I have not,” he answered. “Then you are not afraid of death?” I pursued. “Afraid? No!” he replied. “I have neither a fear, nor a presentiment, nor a hope of death. Why should I? With my hard constitution and temperate mode of living, and unperilous occupations, I ought to, and probably shall, remain above ground till there is scarcely a black hair on my head. And yet I cannot continue in this condition! I have to remind myself to breathe-- almost to remind my heart to beat! And it is like bending back a stiff spring: it is by compulsion that I do the slightest act not prompted by one thought; and by compulsion that I notice anything alive or dead, which is not associated with one universal idea. I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain it. They have yearned towards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I’m convinced it will be reached--and soon-- |
