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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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19 LADY BRA I would strongly advise you, Mr. Worthing, to try and acquire some relations as soon as possible, and to make a definite effort to produce at any rate one parent, of either sex, before the season is quite over. JACK I don’t see how I could possibly manage to do that. I can produce the hand-bag at any moment. It is in my dressing-room at home. I really think that should satisfy you, Lady Bracknell. LADY BRA Me, sir! What has it to do with me? You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing our only daughter-a girl brought up with the utmost care-to marry into a cloak-room, and form an alliance with a parcel? Good morning, Mr. Worthing! [Lady Bracknell sweeps out in majestic indignation.] JACK Good morning! [Algernon, from the other room, strikes up the Wedding March. Jack looks perfectly furious, and goes to the door.] For goodness’ sake don’t play that ghastly tune, Algy! How idiotic you are! [The music stops, and Algernon enters cheerily.] ALG Didn’t it go off all right, old boy? You don’t mean to say Gwendolen refused you, I know it is a way she has. She is always refusing people. I think it is most ill-natured of her. JACK Oh, Gwendolen is as right as a trivet. As far as she is concerned, we are engaged. Her mother is perfectly unbearable. Never met such a Gorgon... I don’t really know what a Gorgon is like, but I am quite sure that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case, she is a monster, without being a myth, which is rather unfair... I beg your pardon, Algy, I suppose I shouldn’t talk about your own aunt in that way before you. ALG My dear boy, I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations are simply a tedious pack of people who haven’t got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. JACK Oh, that is nonsense! ALG It isn’t! JACK Well, I won’t argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things. ALG That is exactly what things were originally made for. |
