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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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ly concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to 18 watch his legs to discover their merits and faults. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental slate and pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have blaze, blood, and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and the other. So he fretted for an opportunity. Meanwhile he continually tried to measure himself by his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some assurance. This man's se- rene unconcern dealt him a measure of con- fidence, for he had known him since childhood, and from his intimate knowledge he did not see how he could be capable of anything that was beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that his comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other hand, he might be a man here- tofore doomed to peace and obscurity, but, in reality, made to shine in war. The youth would have liked to have discov- ered another who suspected himself. A sympa- thetic comparison of mental notes would have been a joy to him. He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with seductive sentences. He looked about to find men in the proper mood. All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which looked in any way like a confession to those doubts which he privately acknowledged in himself. He was afraid to make an open declaration of his concern, because he dreaded to place some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the unconfessed from which elevation he could be derided. In regard to his companions his mind wa- vered between two opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing them all heroes. In fact, he usually admitted in secret |
