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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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Support the Monkey! Tell All your Friends and Teachers |
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130 dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, but I wish you to know that you inspired it.” “Will nothing of it remain? O Mr. Carton, think again! Try again!” “No, Miss Manette; all through it, I have known myself to be quite undeserving. And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire-a fire, however, inseparable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away.” “Since it is my misfortune, Mr. Carton, to have made you more unhappy than you were before you knew me--” “Don’t say that, Miss Manette, for you would have reclaimed me, if anything could. You will not be the cause of my becoming worse.” “Since the state of your mind that you describe, is, at all events, attributable to some influence of mine-this is what I mean, if I can make it plain-can I use no influence to serve you? Have I no power for good, with you, at all?” “The utmost good that I am capable of now, Miss Manette, I have come here to realise. Let me carry through the rest of my misdirected life, the remembrance that I opened my heart to you, last of all the world; and that there was something left in me at this time which you could deplore and pity.” “Which I entreated you to believe, again and again, most fervently, with all my heart, was capable of better things, Mr. Carton!” “Entreat me to believe it no more, Miss Manette. I have proved myself, and I know better. I distress you; I draw fast to an end. Will you let me believe, when I recall this day, that the last confidence of my life was reposed in your pure and innocent breast, and that it lies there alone, and will be shared by no one?” “If that will be a consolation to you, yes.” “Not even by the dearest one ever to be known to you?” “Mr. Carton,” she answered, after an agitated pause, “the secret is yours, not mine; and I promise to respect it.” “Thank you. And again, God bless you.” He put her hand to his lips, and moved towards the door. “Be under no apprehension, Miss Manette, of my ever resuming this conversation by so much as a passing word. I will never refer to it again. If I were dead, that could not be surer than it is henceforth. In the hour of my death, I shall hold sacred the one good remembrance-and shall thank and bless you for it-that my last avowal of myself was made to you, and that my name, and faults, and miseries were gently carried in your heart. May it otherwise be light and happy!” He was so unlike what he had ever shown himself to be, and it was so sad to think how much he had thrown away, and how much he every day kept down and |
