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PinkMonkey.com Digital Library - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen


198

in that mansion; and she lay awake two whole hours endeavoring
to make them out. She certainly did not hate him. No; hatred had
vanished long ago, and she had almost as long been ashamed of
ever feeling a dislike against him, that could be so called. The
respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities, though
at first unwillingly admitted, had for some time ceased to be
repugnant to her feelings; and it was now heightened into
somewhat of a friendlier nature, by the testimony so highly in his
favor, and bringing forward his disposition in so amiable a light,
which yesterday had produced. But above all, above respect and
esteem, there was a motive within her of goodwill which could not
be overlooked. It was gratitude;- gratitude, not merely for having
once loved her, but for loving her still well enough to forgive all
the petulance
and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him, and all the unjust
accusations accompanying her rejection. He who, she had been
persuaded, would avoid her as his greatest enemy, seemed, on this
accidental meeting, most eager to preserve the acquaintance, and
without any indelicate display of regard, or any peculiarity of
manner, where their two selves only were concerned, was
soliciting the good opinion of her friends, and bent on making her
known to his sister. Such a change in a man of so much pride
excited not only astonishment but gratitude-for to love, ardent
love, it must be attributed; and as such, its impression on her was
of a sort to be encouraged, as by no means unpleasing, though it
could not be exactly defined. She respected, she esteemed, she was
grateful to him, she felt a real interest in his welfare; and she only
wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon
herself, and how far it would be for the happiness of both that she
should employ the power, which her fancy told her she still
possessed, of bringing on the renewal of his addresses.

It had been settled in the evening, between the aunt and niece, that
such a striking civility as Miss Darcy’s in coming to them on the
very day of her arrival at Pemberley, for she had reached it only to
a late breakfast, ought to be imitated, though it could not be
equaled, by some exertion of politeness on their side; and,
consequently, that it would be highly expedient to wait on her at
Pemberley the following morning. They were, therefore, to go.-
Elizabeth was pleased; though when she asked herself the reason,
she had very little to say in reply.

Mr. Gardiner left them soon after breakfast. The fishing scheme
had been renewed the day before, and a positive engagement
made of his meeting some of the gentlemen at Pemberley by noon.
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