Aside from the bird, only a land turtle is allowed in the house. The turtle, however, isnÂ’t really considered an animal, but instead a "mineral good luck charm." Dr. Urbino hates animals, but doesnÂ’t want to admit it, so he makes up scientific and philosophical reasons for keeping them away. For instance, he says people who love animals to excess are capable of treating other people with cruelty. He even says roosters are damned because of their participation in the three denials of Christ.

Fermina Daza, his wife, now seventy-two years old, loves tropical flowers and domestic animals. When they were first married, she kept many domestic animals in the house. She had three Dalmatians, Abyssinian cats, Siamese, and Persians. She had an Amazonian monkey which she eventually had to get rid of because he had the bad habit of masturbating in front of women. Fermina Daza also had many kinds of Guatemalan birds in cages, curlews, swamp herons, and even a young stag. Just before the last civil war, she had ordered a bird of paradise when she heard that the pope would visit. Later they found out it was just a rumor. Once she had six perfumed crows, but no one could stand the flapping of their wings. She also had an anaconda at one time. It would "disturb the darkness of the bedrooms" with its "hunterÂ’s sigh" but it was good at scaring off bats and salamanders and harmful insects.

Dr. Urbino had been so preoccupied at that time of his life with his job and his civic duties that he didnÂ’t interfere in his wifeÂ’s habit of collecting animals. Then on one day, he came home to find a stream of dead animals, all killed when the German dog went mad with rabies. Since no one knew which animals had been contaminated by the rabies, Dr. Urbino ordered all of them killed and then burned. Then he requested Misericordia Hospital to come and disinfect the house. Only the giant tortoise escaped because everyone forgot it.

From that point on, Dr. Urbino took charge of him and had several perches built for him under the mango tree. They kept his wings clipped and let him stay inside during the cold months. One day the bird was on the beams above the stove when he fell into a pot of stew with a shout "every man for himself." The cook scooped him out, but he lost all his feathers. From that time on, he was always kept in a cage except for the times when he is let out for his lessons with Dr. Urbino. They hadnÂ’t realized in time that his wings had gotten too long. They were about to clip them when he got loose and got to the top of the mango tree. They had been trying to catch him for three hours. He stayed up there shouting "long live the Liberal Party" over and over. Dr. Urbino tries to get him down using Spanish and French and even Latin, but the parrot merely responds in the same languages with the same emphasis, but will not move. Finally, Dr. Urbino has them send for the fire department.

Table of Contents | Printable Version