CHAPTER 32

Summary

Henry was cold, wet, and hungry. His knee was stiff but okay. He remembered Dr. Valentini, who had done the operation on his knee. He felt dismembered and confused in his thinking. Henry refused to think about Catherine because he thought he would go crazy if he did. He longed to see and lie beside her, but at that moment, he did not know when he would see her again. He thought that he would have to seek other employment now, if there was any other employment, and if the police did not get him.

His anger at the injustice handed to him by the police and his obligation to the army were washed out in the river. He no longer wanted to wear the uniform. He had taken off the stars on the collar, for convenience, not because of a sense of honor. He realized that he was not against them; he was just through with them. Other soldiers may be good, brave, calm, and sensible, but it was not for him anymore. Piani would tell them they had shot Henry and since they would not find the identification papers, they would assume that he drowned. He wondered what his colleagues would think about him. The priest and Rinaldi were now part of his memory; he would never go back and see them again. He wanted only to eat, drink, sleep with Catherine, and avoid thinking . They could get together and go someplace where they would not be found. There were many such places.

Notes

The entire chapter is stream of consciousness. Memories and wishing for the future tumble together in the painful present. Henry feels that his plunge into the river is a sort of absolution of duty, commitment, and even anger. He has turned his back permanently on the army. He was forced to become a deserter and he defiantly wishes to stay one.

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